When I write in here, I just type. I don't often read back what I write, but when I do I can't help but giggle a little. I ramble so much and have such a difficult time staying on one subject. I am the most scatterbrained girl - ever. The last post I wrote is absolutely ridiculous - I read it just now and realized that to an untrained eye, it would make no sense. I'm not very good with my words, and I apologize if it doesn't make any sense to you...
Anyway, I heard something the other day that really stuck with me. I was told that circumstances should not determine our happiness. We shouldn't label our days "good" or "bad" based on what has happened to us throughout the day, but rather, we should be happy unconditionally. I can't even imagine how drastically my life would change if I lived by that, and I know that's exactly what Jesus wants for us. He wants us to find our happiness and sense of belonging in Him, and not blame our bad days for the crap that happens to us. When we trust and love God even through rough patches, we are worshipping Him in the deepest way. So, be happy! Thank God continuously for your blessings. Never let a bad hair day or power outage ruin your day, because (as much as we think we know this, we don't) we don't want those things to cloud up the fact that living for God is what should ultimately make us happy. Plus, not only will keeping a smile on your face through the difficult times make your heart happier, but trust me, others around you will catch on.
A joyful heart is good medicine, But a broken spirit dries up the bones.
Proverbs 17:22
-Kristen
Wednesday, July 9, 2008
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
Jeremiah 20:11
AH! There is so much hurt bottled up in my heart - I can't take it! I should have kept up better with this, I know... But you better believe it called me back... Writing in this soothes my soul.
First off, since this is so fresh, for the second time ever I took a look at CraigsList's discussion forums (I'm such a loser, I know), and for some odd reason, I clicked on "grief", despite the fact I have yet to lose somebody close to me due to death (THANK THE LORD). I clicked on a woman's post at random - It was her first time writing about the loss of her baby right before the birth. At the end of the post, she talked about how she thought her daughter and father (whom she had also lost recently) were her guardian angels. The very first reply? This guy had the guts to tell her that there was no such thing as God or Angels. He tore into the poor woman! My first thought was how tragic and awful this reply is to a mourning mother. You just don't do that. Fortunately, the guy was put in his place by others who were somewhat compassionate to this woman's situation. I know I don't have all of the answers, but I do know that I have a loving father up in heaven who has absolutely everything under control. He has a plan, always. Along with grief and mourning comes the inevitable heaven/hell controversy. I was so saddened to read about people's crushed faith and about those who tried with all of their power to stray others from God, but one woman's post blew me out of the water. She had been infected by AIDS at age 12 by rape, and is now 38 years old. She was in incredible pain and had been for decades, and she decided she was ready to end her life. This thread made me realize that my life is far too comfortable. I'm too healthy, too loved, too happy, too sheltered, too blessed. People responded in such different ways, but you better believe that all of the Christians were immediately persecuted for sharing Jesus Christ with the woman. The post started a couple of days ago, and the woman was responding to the comments, but after a LOT of writing, it just stopped. Who knows if this is even legitimate, but you better believed I prayed anyway. I hope this woman is okay, wherever she is, and decided against suicide (she was going to overdose on heroine). My heart aches for this woman who has given up on God. And my heart hurts for those posting who don't know Christ. All I know is that this woman is permanently on my heart - I'm so sheltered, and it takes weird stuff like random CraigsList discussion forums to remind me that if I'm living comfortably, I am not living for Christ. Kristen, we've got to step it up.
I am going to take some time after I am done writing to pray again for that woman, for Kevin's work friend who is in critical condition in the hospital, and for guidance with school and work. I also need to thank him IMMENSELY for the blessings he reins over me on a daily basis...
Lastly, I want ALL of you to watch this video. It made me bawl my eyes out... but in a good way. Give it a shot... it really epitomizes Jesus' love for all of us.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=Nig4Rbeoqwk <-----Just do it.
But the Lord is with me as a dread warrior;therefore my persecutors will stumble; they will not overcome me. They will be greatly shamed, for they will not succeed. Their eternal dishonorwill never be forgotten.
Jeremiah 20:11
-Kristen
First off, since this is so fresh, for the second time ever I took a look at CraigsList's discussion forums (I'm such a loser, I know), and for some odd reason, I clicked on "grief", despite the fact I have yet to lose somebody close to me due to death (THANK THE LORD). I clicked on a woman's post at random - It was her first time writing about the loss of her baby right before the birth. At the end of the post, she talked about how she thought her daughter and father (whom she had also lost recently) were her guardian angels. The very first reply? This guy had the guts to tell her that there was no such thing as God or Angels. He tore into the poor woman! My first thought was how tragic and awful this reply is to a mourning mother. You just don't do that. Fortunately, the guy was put in his place by others who were somewhat compassionate to this woman's situation. I know I don't have all of the answers, but I do know that I have a loving father up in heaven who has absolutely everything under control. He has a plan, always. Along with grief and mourning comes the inevitable heaven/hell controversy. I was so saddened to read about people's crushed faith and about those who tried with all of their power to stray others from God, but one woman's post blew me out of the water. She had been infected by AIDS at age 12 by rape, and is now 38 years old. She was in incredible pain and had been for decades, and she decided she was ready to end her life. This thread made me realize that my life is far too comfortable. I'm too healthy, too loved, too happy, too sheltered, too blessed. People responded in such different ways, but you better believe that all of the Christians were immediately persecuted for sharing Jesus Christ with the woman. The post started a couple of days ago, and the woman was responding to the comments, but after a LOT of writing, it just stopped. Who knows if this is even legitimate, but you better believed I prayed anyway. I hope this woman is okay, wherever she is, and decided against suicide (she was going to overdose on heroine). My heart aches for this woman who has given up on God. And my heart hurts for those posting who don't know Christ. All I know is that this woman is permanently on my heart - I'm so sheltered, and it takes weird stuff like random CraigsList discussion forums to remind me that if I'm living comfortably, I am not living for Christ. Kristen, we've got to step it up.
I am going to take some time after I am done writing to pray again for that woman, for Kevin's work friend who is in critical condition in the hospital, and for guidance with school and work. I also need to thank him IMMENSELY for the blessings he reins over me on a daily basis...
Lastly, I want ALL of you to watch this video. It made me bawl my eyes out... but in a good way. Give it a shot... it really epitomizes Jesus' love for all of us.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=Nig4Rbeoqwk <-----Just do it.
But the Lord is with me as a dread warrior;therefore my persecutors will stumble; they will not overcome me. They will be greatly shamed, for they will not succeed. Their eternal dishonorwill never be forgotten.
Jeremiah 20:11
-Kristen
Monday, June 23, 2008
Hebrews 13:4
I have been such a slacker with this blog, but I am surprised I have made it this far without giving up. I have no self discipline, but mark my words, I'm learning. Instead of writing in here, I have been reading some really awesome book, which still doesn't excuse me not writing. But anyway, while I'm on the subject of this awesome book, I might as well tell y'all a little bit about it. It's called Marriable by Hayley and Michael Dimarco, and I have learned more from it than any other book I have ever read (besides the bible). I have learned so much about sexual purity, ways to avoid seeming desperate and why we absolutely positively should not make friends with the opposite sex. I have also gotten a little more insight into a guy's mind. The more I read, the more thankful I have such a loving, God fearing boyfriend. He is a rare find - a 26 year old who doesn't pressure me, control me (that's right), or put me down. I can tell he really does want the best for me through his actions. Anyway, let me share a little of what I have been reading...
-Women lie to themselves (for validation); men lie to others (for admiration and sex)
-Sex will not make a man love you more - it will only put off the important questions until the heat dies down (do I see myself starting a family with her, etc)
-Romance is a tool men use. Relationships are happier when women expect less romance, and men use the romance tool more.
-When a man and woman have sex, the woman isn't doing herself any favors when it comes to finding the one.
-Having sex before marriage is like reading the last chapter in a book. No matter how much you get to know the other person after sex, you know how it's going to end, hence less of a thrill.
-Chick flicks, romance novels, etc is porn for women. Just like male porn instills an unreal fantasy for men, chick flicks and romance books instill an unreal fantasy of the perfect man for women. The more time you spend in reality, the less likely you'll be to fall for the trap.
-Porn = desperation
-Save friendships for same sex, and love for the opposite sex.
I could go on and on, since I am so stoked out about this book. Maintaining a healthy relationship is always fascinating to me, so this book is really hard to put down. It is helping me to really respect the male gender. Us girls are far too confusing, poor guys.
How ironic I am listening to Darren Hayes right now. His music, much like chick flicks and romance novels, is porn for women.
Anyway, verse of the night.
Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; the fornicators and adulterers God will judge.
-Hebrews 13:4
To help me strive for sexual morality. There are just so many reasons to be pure, and so few not to be. God was SO smart to tell us to save sex for marriage. It's difficult but it's going to be soo worth it :) It's amazing that people think of God as a god of rules. He commands certain things of us to prevent heartache and dysfunctional relationships. He really is the epitome of a loving father.
-Kristen
And for fun-
"If the world was perfect, I would only want to see your scars."
-Darren Hayes :)
-Women lie to themselves (for validation); men lie to others (for admiration and sex)
-Sex will not make a man love you more - it will only put off the important questions until the heat dies down (do I see myself starting a family with her, etc)
-Romance is a tool men use. Relationships are happier when women expect less romance, and men use the romance tool more.
-When a man and woman have sex, the woman isn't doing herself any favors when it comes to finding the one.
-Having sex before marriage is like reading the last chapter in a book. No matter how much you get to know the other person after sex, you know how it's going to end, hence less of a thrill.
-Chick flicks, romance novels, etc is porn for women. Just like male porn instills an unreal fantasy for men, chick flicks and romance books instill an unreal fantasy of the perfect man for women. The more time you spend in reality, the less likely you'll be to fall for the trap.
-Porn = desperation
-Save friendships for same sex, and love for the opposite sex.
I could go on and on, since I am so stoked out about this book. Maintaining a healthy relationship is always fascinating to me, so this book is really hard to put down. It is helping me to really respect the male gender. Us girls are far too confusing, poor guys.
How ironic I am listening to Darren Hayes right now. His music, much like chick flicks and romance novels, is porn for women.
Anyway, verse of the night.
Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; the fornicators and adulterers God will judge.
-Hebrews 13:4
To help me strive for sexual morality. There are just so many reasons to be pure, and so few not to be. God was SO smart to tell us to save sex for marriage. It's difficult but it's going to be soo worth it :) It's amazing that people think of God as a god of rules. He commands certain things of us to prevent heartache and dysfunctional relationships. He really is the epitome of a loving father.
-Kristen
And for fun-
"If the world was perfect, I would only want to see your scars."
-Darren Hayes :)
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
Psalm 107:1
I want to take the time tonight to just thank God. He has done and is still doing so much in my life that I forget to be thankful for. Instead of trying to fix myself and focus on the negative stuff tonight, I am going to give thanks.
Thank you, Jesus,
1. for parents who love me with all of their heart and are proud of me
2. that my parents are still together after 22 years
3. for a sister that can read my mind
4. that I live in a nice house in a nice area, and I don't have to be fearful at night
5. for a wonderful boyfriend whom I trust with all of my being
6. for never overwhelming me with tragedies
7. that I am able to pursue a higher education through college
8. for evie, blue, little kitty and mittens
9. for always providing food, shelter and nourishment
10. for never giving up on me, even when I gave up on you
11. for providing me with a job I enjoy
12. for a set of really outstanding grandparents
13. that I don't have to pay for school
14. for my outgoing nature (even though sometimes it can be a bit much)
15. for giving me a world of opportunities, and a chance to succeed
The list, of course, could go on. And on. And on. I am so caught up in trying to fix myself, that I forget to take moments to thank and praise God for the good things in my life.
Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good; his love endures forever.
Psalm 107:1
Let us remember this verse when all we want to do is complain. Awhile back, my mom was telling my dad how she thought the house was such a mess. "Now say something positive," he said. Apparently her therapist had used this exercise with my mom when she was feeling down. For each negative thing she'd say, the therapist told my dad to catch it and make her be thankful for something. "Well, it does smell nice in here," she said. It was certainly a start. This exercise always stuck with me, and I think it could be a huge help when I'm being ungrateful. I have so much to give thanks for, and if I can get myself in the habit of conquering each negative statement with a positive one, I know I'll be on a better path to fixing my brokenness.
-Kristen
Thank you, Jesus,
1. for parents who love me with all of their heart and are proud of me
2. that my parents are still together after 22 years
3. for a sister that can read my mind
4. that I live in a nice house in a nice area, and I don't have to be fearful at night
5. for a wonderful boyfriend whom I trust with all of my being
6. for never overwhelming me with tragedies
7. that I am able to pursue a higher education through college
8. for evie, blue, little kitty and mittens
9. for always providing food, shelter and nourishment
10. for never giving up on me, even when I gave up on you
11. for providing me with a job I enjoy
12. for a set of really outstanding grandparents
13. that I don't have to pay for school
14. for my outgoing nature (even though sometimes it can be a bit much)
15. for giving me a world of opportunities, and a chance to succeed
The list, of course, could go on. And on. And on. I am so caught up in trying to fix myself, that I forget to take moments to thank and praise God for the good things in my life.
Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good; his love endures forever.
Psalm 107:1
Let us remember this verse when all we want to do is complain. Awhile back, my mom was telling my dad how she thought the house was such a mess. "Now say something positive," he said. Apparently her therapist had used this exercise with my mom when she was feeling down. For each negative thing she'd say, the therapist told my dad to catch it and make her be thankful for something. "Well, it does smell nice in here," she said. It was certainly a start. This exercise always stuck with me, and I think it could be a huge help when I'm being ungrateful. I have so much to give thanks for, and if I can get myself in the habit of conquering each negative statement with a positive one, I know I'll be on a better path to fixing my brokenness.
-Kristen
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
Ephesians 1:11-12
I'm just sort of feeling down on myself tonight. Instead of finding my worth in Jesus, I'm looking for outside sources to tell me I'm special. In some way or another, most of my blogs are about this issue. I'm struggling so much for attention from everyone in this world, that I am forgetting that my worth can only be found in Jesus. It's so easy to say that, but so difficult to feel it. I just want to hear words of praise and consolation from human lips, but no combination of words spoken by a mortal toungue can make me feel worthy. My sense of worth is not coming from Christ, but instead, everyone else. Not only is this paying it's toll on me, but it is on the people closest to me as well. But I have a sneaking suspicion that I am not the only one falling to this. Everybody wants to be praised and told that they're something special, and if you think this excludes you, it doesn't. Because at some point, you yearn to hear words of encouragement and consolation from someone other than God. We all do.
In him we were also chosen, having been predestined according to the plan of him who works out everything in conformity with the purpose of his will, in order that we, who were the first to hope in Christ, might be for the praise of his glory.
Ephesians 1:11-12
In other words, God chose us individually when He planned creation. How amazing, that we were chosen to be a part of something so much bigger than ourselves. When I put everything in perspective, it doesn't really matter if I get praise from others or not. I was chosen when God decided to create life. He knew who I was, and loved me long before I was even born. Nothing can be more flattering (and humbling) than that!
-Kristen
In him we were also chosen, having been predestined according to the plan of him who works out everything in conformity with the purpose of his will, in order that we, who were the first to hope in Christ, might be for the praise of his glory.
Ephesians 1:11-12
In other words, God chose us individually when He planned creation. How amazing, that we were chosen to be a part of something so much bigger than ourselves. When I put everything in perspective, it doesn't really matter if I get praise from others or not. I was chosen when God decided to create life. He knew who I was, and loved me long before I was even born. Nothing can be more flattering (and humbling) than that!
-Kristen
Monday, June 16, 2008
Psalm 25:9
Just as you thought the list of things I have to work on could not get any bigger...
I think that all of my problems snowball off of the same issue: I talk way to much, and without thinking. It seems like it would be so easy to shut up when it's appropriate, but not for me. Heck no. Without thinking, I always seem to try to one up everybody. I'm not sure who (or even what) I am trying to prove by doing this, but it has to stop. Nobody cares about the countries I have visited or how school is going. It just doesn't matter. Don't get me wrong, sometimes it is okay and appropriate to talk about ourselves, but lets face it - we all like to talk more about ourselves than to listen to others. There are so many problems that are occurring because I am not a good listener, and I talk too much, including hurting people's feelings, blurting out things in an argument that I regret an hour later, looking stupid and feeling stupid. I lack a sense of humility and patience.
He guides the humble in what is right and teaches them his way.
Psalm 25:9
I'm going to pray for that humility tonight. I need to stop caring so much about my life stories and more about others'. It's like when we are having a bad hair day or are feeling really fat, we think everybody is analyzing us, but that's so untrue. Nobody really pays attention to us, nor are they scrutinizing us. Try listening to others' stories before you tell yours. No matter how interesting you think your life is, you can't one up everybody.
Let's keep today's verse as a reminder that God will bless those who are humble, and he will put them on the right path.
-Kristen
I think that all of my problems snowball off of the same issue: I talk way to much, and without thinking. It seems like it would be so easy to shut up when it's appropriate, but not for me. Heck no. Without thinking, I always seem to try to one up everybody. I'm not sure who (or even what) I am trying to prove by doing this, but it has to stop. Nobody cares about the countries I have visited or how school is going. It just doesn't matter. Don't get me wrong, sometimes it is okay and appropriate to talk about ourselves, but lets face it - we all like to talk more about ourselves than to listen to others. There are so many problems that are occurring because I am not a good listener, and I talk too much, including hurting people's feelings, blurting out things in an argument that I regret an hour later, looking stupid and feeling stupid. I lack a sense of humility and patience.
He guides the humble in what is right and teaches them his way.
Psalm 25:9
I'm going to pray for that humility tonight. I need to stop caring so much about my life stories and more about others'. It's like when we are having a bad hair day or are feeling really fat, we think everybody is analyzing us, but that's so untrue. Nobody really pays attention to us, nor are they scrutinizing us. Try listening to others' stories before you tell yours. No matter how interesting you think your life is, you can't one up everybody.
Let's keep today's verse as a reminder that God will bless those who are humble, and he will put them on the right path.
-Kristen
Saturday, June 14, 2008
1 John 4:19
Let me make something clear: I love Jesus more than my boyfriend. I am not only saying this to convince all of you, but I'm also saying it to convince myself. Its so easy to say that, but so difficult to show it. I talk about Kevin all the time at work, but am terrified to start a conversation about God. It's scary since I have no idea how they will react. So, sure I can say all day long that I love Jesus more, but really, I'm not showing it. This is something I am going to have to work out with God, and soon. I have to stop yaking about Kev all the time, and start talking about the man who loves me more than everybody on this earth put together.
We love because He first loved us.
1 John 4:19
I am only able to love Kevin because God loved me first. This is something I have to remind myself of every day. I am so grateful that God loved us so that we could love others. Because of Him, we can know how to give and recieve love. Way to be, God.
-Kristen
We love because He first loved us.
1 John 4:19
I am only able to love Kevin because God loved me first. This is something I have to remind myself of every day. I am so grateful that God loved us so that we could love others. Because of Him, we can know how to give and recieve love. Way to be, God.
-Kristen
Thursday, June 12, 2008
Psalm 118:24
I promised Kevin I would get some sleep, since I'm exhausted and have to drive to Ahwatukee for work and be there by 8 am. Kill me. Please, somebody kill me. It's not that I am not a morning person, it's just that the first 5 minutes of being awake is the worst feeling ever. I can imagine hell would be like getting out of bed over and over and over again. Not trying to make an insightful analogy, just being honest.
It's seldom I get those moments where I feel so tiny and insignificant in the grand scheme of things, since I'm unfortunately selfish and sometimes think the world revolves around me, but the other day I got one so massive that it gave me goosebumps. I often think I'm invincible (but doesn't everyone when they're young?) and that I'm guarenteed another day if I mess up today. When I stop to think about it, though, what is God using me for now? Why does he want me here? Because I don't think I have done anything spectacular, I figure I still have some time on this earth before God gets rid of me. But what if I have served my purpose? What if I was created for the sole purpose of becoming a catalyst in somebody's life? It's scary to think about how enormous and powerful God is. Our human minds cannot even comprehend eternity. If we are able to die every day for Jesus on this earth, we get to spend eternity with him. Wow.
I figure when the elect get to heaven, everybody is going to have so many questions for God. You better believe I have a list of questions that I'm going to ask, but those will stay in my pocket until after orientation (I'm pretty sure God is going to have a "heaven orientation", since everybody will be new to the heaven thing. Also, this is where he will answer all of the frequently asked questions and give closure to controversial subjects. The answers will be so obvious that we will slap ourselves.). After heaven, it will be a free-for-all, like releasing a pack of children into Chuck-E-Cheese. We will get to spend eternity with God, our creator and father. No combination of words could possibly describe what this feeling will be like. All I know is that I am desperately excited.
But if you go to hell (and lets really hope you don't), you will be waking up to the most awful, shrilling alarm clock you could ever imagine. Over and over again.
All I know is is that I want to be as far away from that stupid alarm clock as possible. And for me, that means loving God with all I've got. Which is much more than I am giving Him.
This is the day that the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it.
Psalm 118:24
^^To remind me that today is a gift. I must rejoice today since I may not have a tomorrow.
Sorry I have been all over the place tonight. I hope you understand.
-Kristen
It's seldom I get those moments where I feel so tiny and insignificant in the grand scheme of things, since I'm unfortunately selfish and sometimes think the world revolves around me, but the other day I got one so massive that it gave me goosebumps. I often think I'm invincible (but doesn't everyone when they're young?) and that I'm guarenteed another day if I mess up today. When I stop to think about it, though, what is God using me for now? Why does he want me here? Because I don't think I have done anything spectacular, I figure I still have some time on this earth before God gets rid of me. But what if I have served my purpose? What if I was created for the sole purpose of becoming a catalyst in somebody's life? It's scary to think about how enormous and powerful God is. Our human minds cannot even comprehend eternity. If we are able to die every day for Jesus on this earth, we get to spend eternity with him. Wow.
I figure when the elect get to heaven, everybody is going to have so many questions for God. You better believe I have a list of questions that I'm going to ask, but those will stay in my pocket until after orientation (I'm pretty sure God is going to have a "heaven orientation", since everybody will be new to the heaven thing. Also, this is where he will answer all of the frequently asked questions and give closure to controversial subjects. The answers will be so obvious that we will slap ourselves.). After heaven, it will be a free-for-all, like releasing a pack of children into Chuck-E-Cheese. We will get to spend eternity with God, our creator and father. No combination of words could possibly describe what this feeling will be like. All I know is that I am desperately excited.
But if you go to hell (and lets really hope you don't), you will be waking up to the most awful, shrilling alarm clock you could ever imagine. Over and over again.
All I know is is that I want to be as far away from that stupid alarm clock as possible. And for me, that means loving God with all I've got. Which is much more than I am giving Him.
This is the day that the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it.
Psalm 118:24
^^To remind me that today is a gift. I must rejoice today since I may not have a tomorrow.
Sorry I have been all over the place tonight. I hope you understand.
-Kristen
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
John 14:27
I have so much going on in my life right now, and I almost didn't write tonight, since I don't feel like it. I don't feel like doing anything. Everybody wants something else from me, and life is becoming overwhelming. All I want to do is complain, complain, complain, and then complain some more. But what I figured is that it is more important for me to write when I don't want to than when I do. That's how the devil works - he gets under your skin and wears you down. I feel like I have just ran a marathon, but I know it's just Satan. I know that he doesn't want me to write in here or spend time with Jesus. To this I respond: Just watch me.
Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.
John 14:27
This is my verse for the "I just don't feel like it" days. How inspiring. Just reading it gives me a sense of peace and calmness. This is the perfect verse for me tonight. Hopefully this verse can stay with me over the next few days, since I know it is going to be a long, stressful few days. May God's peace dwell within me, and may His love consume me. I pray this for not only myself, but for all of you who may be reading this.
-Kristen
Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.
John 14:27
This is my verse for the "I just don't feel like it" days. How inspiring. Just reading it gives me a sense of peace and calmness. This is the perfect verse for me tonight. Hopefully this verse can stay with me over the next few days, since I know it is going to be a long, stressful few days. May God's peace dwell within me, and may His love consume me. I pray this for not only myself, but for all of you who may be reading this.
-Kristen
Monday, June 9, 2008
Proverbs 3:5-6
I'm too tired to even think straight. What an exhausting and emotionally draining day. I don't have a clue on what I should do about work.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.
Proverbs 3:5-6
I'm so conflicted and confused. I don't have any idea what to do. I know I have to trust that God will provide, but it's getting so difficult to make ends meet. How long is this stress going to continue? It's been months. Maybe I'm just not trusting Him enough, who knows. I'm too tired for this tonight, I'm sorry.
-Kristen
Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.
Proverbs 3:5-6
I'm so conflicted and confused. I don't have any idea what to do. I know I have to trust that God will provide, but it's getting so difficult to make ends meet. How long is this stress going to continue? It's been months. Maybe I'm just not trusting Him enough, who knows. I'm too tired for this tonight, I'm sorry.
-Kristen
Sunday, June 8, 2008
Ruth 1:16-17
But Ruth replied, "Don't urge me to leave you or to turn back from you. Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people, and your God my God. Where you die I will die, and there I will be buried. May the Lord deal with me, be it ever so severely, if even death seperates you and me."
Ruth 1:16-17
We have all heard 1 Corinthians 13 (Love is patient, love is kind...), which tells us how God intended love to be. As you read down the list of things that love is and isn't, you will find that it is impossible to love someone as perfectly and flawlessly as it suggests. Only God can love us the way it's portrayed in 1 Corinthians, but that doesn't mean we aren't supposed to strive for that and get as close as we possibly can. What I love about Ruth is that it takes the love is patient verse and puts it into action. This woman (Ruth) is telling Naomi (a widow who has also lost her two sons) that she is going to stay with Naomi, and that Naomi cannot talk her out of it. Reading the whole book of Ruth makes this passage even more beautiful, because you will see the sacrifice Ruth is making to stay with Naomi. Many couples use this passage in their wedding vows, because it is the epitome of selfless love, and selfless love is something we should consistantly strive for. This is one of my favorite passages because it paints a beautiful picture of what true love looks like. It encourages me to love others better, and it helps me to allow myself to be vulnerable. What a truly inspiring passage.
-Kristen
Ruth 1:16-17
We have all heard 1 Corinthians 13 (Love is patient, love is kind...), which tells us how God intended love to be. As you read down the list of things that love is and isn't, you will find that it is impossible to love someone as perfectly and flawlessly as it suggests. Only God can love us the way it's portrayed in 1 Corinthians, but that doesn't mean we aren't supposed to strive for that and get as close as we possibly can. What I love about Ruth is that it takes the love is patient verse and puts it into action. This woman (Ruth) is telling Naomi (a widow who has also lost her two sons) that she is going to stay with Naomi, and that Naomi cannot talk her out of it. Reading the whole book of Ruth makes this passage even more beautiful, because you will see the sacrifice Ruth is making to stay with Naomi. Many couples use this passage in their wedding vows, because it is the epitome of selfless love, and selfless love is something we should consistantly strive for. This is one of my favorite passages because it paints a beautiful picture of what true love looks like. It encourages me to love others better, and it helps me to allow myself to be vulnerable. What a truly inspiring passage.
-Kristen
Saturday, June 7, 2008
Luke 17:11-19
I just wrote a whole post, reread it, thought it sounded like an essay, and botched it. It wouldn't be fair for me to post something here that isn't close to my heart. So here I go again. Take two.
I want to share this story from Luke with you. It's a little long, but bear with me.
Luke 17:11-19
On his way to Jerusalem, Jesus went along the border between Samaria and Galilee. As he was going into a village, ten men with leprosy came toward him. They stood at a distance and shouted, "Jesus, Master, have pity on us!" Jesus looked at them and said, "Go show yourselves to the priests." On their way they were healed. When one of them discovered that he was healed, he came back, shouting praises to God. He bowed down at the feet of Jesus and thanked him. The man was from the country of Samaria. Jesus asked, "Weren't ten men healed? Where are the other nine? Why was this foreigner the only one who came back to thank God?" Then Jesus told the man, "You may get up and go. Your faith has made you well."
I know that was a lot to read, but take it all in.
What have you forgotten to thank Jesus for lately? For me, it's the luxury of a beautiful home in a beautiful neighborhood, a healthy and loving family, a healthy relationship with an incredible boyfriend, freedom, and the list goes on. I constantly forget to thank Jesus for his blessings. In this story, only one out of ten men that were infested with a disgusting disease went back to thank Jesus for being healed. Only one. Would you be that one? Are you thanking Jesus daily for His answers to your prayers? I'm not doing near enough thanking. My request to thanking ratio is, like, 10:1. I owe God so much more than that. He has blessed me with so much, and yet, I am still asking for more. Not only should I be completely content with what I have (which, sometimes, I'll admit, I am not), but I need to constantly be thanking Jesus. As should all of us. So ask yourself, are you the one that goes back to thank Jesus? If you're not sure, you have some serious praying and thanking to do. I know I do.
-Kristen
I want to share this story from Luke with you. It's a little long, but bear with me.
Luke 17:11-19
On his way to Jerusalem, Jesus went along the border between Samaria and Galilee. As he was going into a village, ten men with leprosy came toward him. They stood at a distance and shouted, "Jesus, Master, have pity on us!" Jesus looked at them and said, "Go show yourselves to the priests." On their way they were healed. When one of them discovered that he was healed, he came back, shouting praises to God. He bowed down at the feet of Jesus and thanked him. The man was from the country of Samaria. Jesus asked, "Weren't ten men healed? Where are the other nine? Why was this foreigner the only one who came back to thank God?" Then Jesus told the man, "You may get up and go. Your faith has made you well."
I know that was a lot to read, but take it all in.
What have you forgotten to thank Jesus for lately? For me, it's the luxury of a beautiful home in a beautiful neighborhood, a healthy and loving family, a healthy relationship with an incredible boyfriend, freedom, and the list goes on. I constantly forget to thank Jesus for his blessings. In this story, only one out of ten men that were infested with a disgusting disease went back to thank Jesus for being healed. Only one. Would you be that one? Are you thanking Jesus daily for His answers to your prayers? I'm not doing near enough thanking. My request to thanking ratio is, like, 10:1. I owe God so much more than that. He has blessed me with so much, and yet, I am still asking for more. Not only should I be completely content with what I have (which, sometimes, I'll admit, I am not), but I need to constantly be thanking Jesus. As should all of us. So ask yourself, are you the one that goes back to thank Jesus? If you're not sure, you have some serious praying and thanking to do. I know I do.
-Kristen
Friday, June 6, 2008
Psalm 139:14
I often feel unimportant. There is nothing unique or special about me that makes me stand out from the rest of the crowd. There are so many other people out there that can do everything I can do, but better. It's so frustrating to feel like I have nothing to offer. Not only does this frustrate me, but my attitude frustrates everybody close to me. So what really does make me stand out? Psalm has the answer I'm looking for.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.
Psalm 139:14
In times of doubt, low self esteem and envy, this verse comes through for me, reminding me that a negative comment about myself is a negative comment about God. What a slap in the face God must feel when I criticize myself. I can't imagine creating something that I thought was absolutely beautiful and flawless, just to have that something look at itself and find countless mistakes. God probably feels the same way a child might after giving a painting to their mom and finding it in the trash later that day. I cannot change the way I look. I can change the way I act, speak, dress, and communicate, but I can't (or rather, won't) change my appearance. Whining and complaining and moaning and groaning is NOT going to EVER make me feel more beautiful. What will make me feel beautiful are verses like this one, because they are simple reminders that God created me, and he thinks I am absolutely beautiful, and that is the only thing that matters. End of story.
-Kristen
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.
Psalm 139:14
In times of doubt, low self esteem and envy, this verse comes through for me, reminding me that a negative comment about myself is a negative comment about God. What a slap in the face God must feel when I criticize myself. I can't imagine creating something that I thought was absolutely beautiful and flawless, just to have that something look at itself and find countless mistakes. God probably feels the same way a child might after giving a painting to their mom and finding it in the trash later that day. I cannot change the way I look. I can change the way I act, speak, dress, and communicate, but I can't (or rather, won't) change my appearance. Whining and complaining and moaning and groaning is NOT going to EVER make me feel more beautiful. What will make me feel beautiful are verses like this one, because they are simple reminders that God created me, and he thinks I am absolutely beautiful, and that is the only thing that matters. End of story.
-Kristen
Thursday, June 5, 2008
Isaiah 60:19
So I have been in the process of starting a new job. Its grand opening is next week, so I am starting to get to know my coworkers prior to this opening. This whole process is a bit nerve racking since I have never been a part of a grand opening, and especially since this will be the first Romp'n'Roll in Arizona. The pressure is on, and we have to be on the ball. Above this new job excitement, though, is the understanding that I am meeting all new people that may or may not have heard the good news of Christ. I know this is going to be an extreme challenge to shine for Jesus since I have never really put a lot of effort in it. When I think about the Christian friends I have (and used to have), they all have a quality about themselves that I know I have been lacking. My coworkers do not know who I really am yet, and I am going to pray that I can be a light for the ones stumbling in the darkness (which may very well be all of them). When I think of the people I know that love Jesus, and I mean really love Jesus, I find that they all have similar qualities, including patience, using their words wisely, and they have excellent listening skills. I want to shine the way I have seen real Christians shine. And the only way to do that? Invest my heart and labor in Jesus. Every day I feel myself being pulled more and more in towards Him, and it is making me more and more excited. So, my prayer tonight will be to develop the courage and understanding to stand for Jesus, not just in work, but in every aspect of my life. I want to be brave and unmoved, and if I am faithful in prayer (yay Romans 12:12), I know I can become more motivated and rooted in Him and his love.
The sun will no more be your light by day, nor will the brightness of the moon shine on you, for the LORD will be your everlasting light, and your God will be your glory.
Isaiah 60:19
-Kristen
The sun will no more be your light by day, nor will the brightness of the moon shine on you, for the LORD will be your everlasting light, and your God will be your glory.
Isaiah 60:19
-Kristen
Proverbs 14:29
I failed today. I have gone so long keeping my temper under control, but the day after I write all about this struggle, I blow it. When I get angry or frustrated, I am completely aware of the right way to handle the situation, but I always choose the opposite. I am sad. I hurt somebody so close to me today, although he never said a word. He just sat there and let me beat him down. He was the epitome of patience and calm. I look up to him so much. My heart hurts right now because I couldn't control my temper and emotion earlier. Fortunately, I apologized and he accepted it with such grace and understanding. Wow. Praise the Lord for giving others the strengths and gifts that I so badly need to learn. So tonight, I am going to focus on another verse involving patience and anger. Another verse from Proverbs, since it is my favorite book in the bible, and it has helped me a lot so far with my temper and patience.
A patient man has great understanding, but a quick-tempered man displays folly.
Proverbs 14:29
Hopefully next time I can remind myself of this verse, and stop dead in my tracks before I get out of hand.
-Kristen
A patient man has great understanding, but a quick-tempered man displays folly.
Proverbs 14:29
Hopefully next time I can remind myself of this verse, and stop dead in my tracks before I get out of hand.
-Kristen
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
James 1:19
I am incredibly impulsive. If I could change anything about myself, it would be this. I am impulsive in arguments, and I take them to levels that are completely unnecessary. I talk far more than I need to, get angry far too quickly and jump to conclusions without allowing others to explain. I am an awful listener, and an emotionally unstable girl. I have forgotten (yes, forgotten) about one of my favorite verses of the bible until recently. The one verse that challenges me more than any I have ever read is this:
My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.
James 1:19
I absolutely love it. This one verse epitomizes the opposite of me. I do not listen well, I speak a weeks worth of words in a day, and I get angry if I feel like my cat is being made fun of (seriously). When I am feeling proud or prideful, this verse is a sure fire way to put me in my place. I love this verse because it is a challenge. It challenges me to not be so impulsive in arguments, and to put others' emotions before myself. This is one of those verses for me that encompasses who Jesus is, and who I certainly am not. I cannot forget about this verse again, it is way too important. Hopefully, this verse will help me to listen and shut my trap during the heat of an argument.
-Kristen
My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.
James 1:19
I absolutely love it. This one verse epitomizes the opposite of me. I do not listen well, I speak a weeks worth of words in a day, and I get angry if I feel like my cat is being made fun of (seriously). When I am feeling proud or prideful, this verse is a sure fire way to put me in my place. I love this verse because it is a challenge. It challenges me to not be so impulsive in arguments, and to put others' emotions before myself. This is one of those verses for me that encompasses who Jesus is, and who I certainly am not. I cannot forget about this verse again, it is way too important. Hopefully, this verse will help me to listen and shut my trap during the heat of an argument.
-Kristen
Monday, June 2, 2008
Romans 12:12
It has been awhile since I have pursued Christ. I am having a bit of trouble finding a place to start back up. I have been listening to sermons from Pastor Mark Driscoll of Mars Hill Church in Seattle. He's great, and incredibly insightful. I have been skimming through the bible, not really looking for anything in particular, and can't believe that I have passed up such an amazing book for so long. I have been calling myself a leader, yet I am a fool. I pray sloppily and read my bible sparatically. I have considered spending time with Jesus a chore. What a wreck I am. I am going to pray for a restored heart tonight. Romans 12:12 is a verse that I have been trying to put a lot of emphasis on.
Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.
Romans 12:12
I feel like being joyful in hope isn't necessarily the hardest thing to do (for me at least), but the second two things present a struggle for me. Being calm and patient during a hard time is not always easy. We tend to either blame God, or forget about him completely, thinking we're able to combat the problem on our own. During trials and tribulations, God tells us time and time again to be patient and that we must trust him. He knows what He's doing. I have a hard time being patient when my sister borrows my clothes without asking, and that certainly cannot be classified as "affliction". The last part of this verse states that we must be faithful in prayer. Sounds easy enough. Just let your mind think to God, right? It isn't that easy for me. Even during quiet time with him, I find that reading the bible is easier than praying. It doesn't take much effort to read words on a page, but for me, it takes a great deal of effort to think up of all of the problems I need help with, all of the sins I have committed that I need to repent for, all of the favors I have to ask, all of the people in my life that I want God to show Himself to, etc. So being faithful in prayer isn't necessarily an easy task for me. So that is my challenge. I need to be patient in affliction (although I have not been feeling very afflicted lately, praise Jesus), and faithful in prayer.
-Kristen
Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.
Romans 12:12
I feel like being joyful in hope isn't necessarily the hardest thing to do (for me at least), but the second two things present a struggle for me. Being calm and patient during a hard time is not always easy. We tend to either blame God, or forget about him completely, thinking we're able to combat the problem on our own. During trials and tribulations, God tells us time and time again to be patient and that we must trust him. He knows what He's doing. I have a hard time being patient when my sister borrows my clothes without asking, and that certainly cannot be classified as "affliction". The last part of this verse states that we must be faithful in prayer. Sounds easy enough. Just let your mind think to God, right? It isn't that easy for me. Even during quiet time with him, I find that reading the bible is easier than praying. It doesn't take much effort to read words on a page, but for me, it takes a great deal of effort to think up of all of the problems I need help with, all of the sins I have committed that I need to repent for, all of the favors I have to ask, all of the people in my life that I want God to show Himself to, etc. So being faithful in prayer isn't necessarily an easy task for me. So that is my challenge. I need to be patient in affliction (although I have not been feeling very afflicted lately, praise Jesus), and faithful in prayer.
-Kristen
Sunday, June 1, 2008
1 John 1:9
If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
1 John 1:9
There are countless verses in the bible that reference God's forgiveness, mercy and grace, but this is one of my favorites because it serves as a constant reminder that being a Christian is more than just claiming Christ. It is in prayer, reading the bible, persuit and REPENTANCE. Repentance, for me, is probably the hardest thing about being a Christian. I have to search deep inside of myself to see where my struggles are and how to avoid repeating the same sins. I am not a girl who easily learns from my mistakes. It takes dozens, or hundreds, or thousands of times repeating the same sin over and over again before I get the hint that it isn't going to fill the void I expect it to. Hopefully, this blog will help me become more accountable, and it will help me realize exactly where my struggles are. I am aware of some, but I have a feeling I have only scratched the surface of this awful sinner I call Kristen. Repentance is one of my weak spots, so I am going to block out some time each day (or night) to be alone and confess to God everything I have done to fall short of the Glory of Him. Praise God for his mercy, forgiveness and grace. I am so undeserving.
-Kristen
1 John 1:9
There are countless verses in the bible that reference God's forgiveness, mercy and grace, but this is one of my favorites because it serves as a constant reminder that being a Christian is more than just claiming Christ. It is in prayer, reading the bible, persuit and REPENTANCE. Repentance, for me, is probably the hardest thing about being a Christian. I have to search deep inside of myself to see where my struggles are and how to avoid repeating the same sins. I am not a girl who easily learns from my mistakes. It takes dozens, or hundreds, or thousands of times repeating the same sin over and over again before I get the hint that it isn't going to fill the void I expect it to. Hopefully, this blog will help me become more accountable, and it will help me realize exactly where my struggles are. I am aware of some, but I have a feeling I have only scratched the surface of this awful sinner I call Kristen. Repentance is one of my weak spots, so I am going to block out some time each day (or night) to be alone and confess to God everything I have done to fall short of the Glory of Him. Praise God for his mercy, forgiveness and grace. I am so undeserving.
-Kristen
Proverbs 14:30
A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones. Proverbs 14:30
I am frusteratingly ordinary. Although I am aware that it costs thousands of dollars to airbrush and touch up the women in magazines, I cannot help but look at them with a sense of longing and adoration. These women are anything but ordinary, although common sense tells us that you probably wouldn't give them a second glance on the streets. By American standards, I am thin (although terribly out of shape), but by my standards, I am 15 lbs overweight. Why? Why am I beating myself up (constantly) over my weight, appearance, talents (or lack thereof), and success? Certainly it is because I have given up on the only person that matters, Jesus. Envy has embraced my soul, and I do not seek out God. This lust for beauty grows daily, and I have not allowed Jesus to intervene. It is a sick game that I play with those close to me, hoping that they will fill me with enough words and encouragement to get me through the day. I, like you, am trying to fill a void in my heart reserved for the man who created me. No amount of beauty, talent or intelligence could make me feel more loved. No mortal could ever fulfill my deepest desires. It is in Jesus Christ (and Him alone) that I will find love in it's purest form. With Jesus' help, I have to throw my envy aside, and allow my heart peace. Bitterness and envy are devouring me, and unless I seek out Jesus, my heart will continue on in tourmoil.
-Kristen.
I am frusteratingly ordinary. Although I am aware that it costs thousands of dollars to airbrush and touch up the women in magazines, I cannot help but look at them with a sense of longing and adoration. These women are anything but ordinary, although common sense tells us that you probably wouldn't give them a second glance on the streets. By American standards, I am thin (although terribly out of shape), but by my standards, I am 15 lbs overweight. Why? Why am I beating myself up (constantly) over my weight, appearance, talents (or lack thereof), and success? Certainly it is because I have given up on the only person that matters, Jesus. Envy has embraced my soul, and I do not seek out God. This lust for beauty grows daily, and I have not allowed Jesus to intervene. It is a sick game that I play with those close to me, hoping that they will fill me with enough words and encouragement to get me through the day. I, like you, am trying to fill a void in my heart reserved for the man who created me. No amount of beauty, talent or intelligence could make me feel more loved. No mortal could ever fulfill my deepest desires. It is in Jesus Christ (and Him alone) that I will find love in it's purest form. With Jesus' help, I have to throw my envy aside, and allow my heart peace. Bitterness and envy are devouring me, and unless I seek out Jesus, my heart will continue on in tourmoil.
-Kristen.
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