Proverbs 14:30

A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones. Proverbs 14:30

I am frusteratingly ordinary. Although I am aware that it costs thousands of dollars to airbrush and touch up the women in magazines, I cannot help but look at them with a sense of longing and adoration. These women are anything but ordinary, although common sense tells us that you probably wouldn't give them a second glance on the streets. By American standards, I am thin (although terribly out of shape), but by my standards, I am 15 lbs overweight. Why? Why am I beating myself up (constantly) over my weight, appearance, talents (or lack thereof), and success? Certainly it is because I have given up on the only person that matters, Jesus. Envy has embraced my soul, and I do not seek out God. This lust for beauty grows daily, and I have not allowed Jesus to intervene. It is a sick game that I play with those close to me, hoping that they will fill me with enough words and encouragement to get me through the day. I, like you, am trying to fill a void in my heart reserved for the man who created me. No amount of beauty, talent or intelligence could make me feel more loved. No mortal could ever fulfill my deepest desires. It is in Jesus Christ (and Him alone) that I will find love in it's purest form. With Jesus' help, I have to throw my envy aside, and allow my heart peace. Bitterness and envy are devouring me, and unless I seek out Jesus, my heart will continue on in tourmoil.

-Kristen.